Back to work. Feeling good I have been really trying to change me self talk.  A more accepting loving way, it seems to be helping in alot of areas not just the weight game.  As I am changing how I talk to myself it is helping me deal better with stress and a side benefit is my work environment, the stresses of my job didn't effect me the same today.

I found that I had pictures of myself stuck in my head, mostly from growing up;  what I was told by words and actions as a child and young girl, we all have them the stories we have of our lives.   I have been working on changing my story, Oprah life classes was working on it and I was using what I heard from her classes and chats with my friend.   The thing that hit home for me was when my friend held my pants up to show me the dryer had gotten all the wrinkles out (she loves her new appliances and was showing me one of her favorite functions)  all I could see was huge *ss pants that I hated the sight of them! the size of them! with lots of other stuff attached and had a bad reaction...she said "you are giving these pants alot of power?  they are just pants....not any reflection of who you are.  That's when the switch flip for me, why am I giving the pants, my body size, or old stories from my childhood power over me all the time.  They are not me, they are not who I am.   Who I am is inside and everyday I get to choose to be my beautiful, loving self and the size I am is just a shape no more or less and I am reshaping.  Happily reshaping choosing to be loving to myself, and think and treat myself with the love and kindness I treat others.

Just my thoughts for the day :-)

I am home after my week of relaxing and I am down 2lbs!!   Relaxing is a good thing ...LOL :-)   I was able to stick to my healthy eating mainly avoided sugar... I also kept snacks on me so I didn't get really hungry.   I had a good time and now busy doing my laundry and getting food ready for the week of back to work.   Hope everyone had a wonderful long weekend, here in Canada our long weekend was the weekend before, but like me allot of us use it as a part of a holiday week getting that extra day off tack onto our holiday to make for more time off together.

OMG! What a week....I am still down even though the stress level was through the roof and still is as I pack for my week vacation.  I head to the island which is a close to home vacation but I am far enough for a change of scene.  Trying to get all my work clean off my desk at work with crazy clients calling and demanding things at the last minute causes me great stress if I could drink and not gain I would.  I know I can have some wine but when I am feeling that kind of stress and I start I might not stop and then I would eat and then and then...downward spiral  not good.

I have been sticking with the 2 shakes a day with a lunch meal and snacks it's been good, usually when I have weeks like this I would eat on the run and make bad choices or since I have gotten sugar out of my diet I will go without eating, I remember in my 20's and 30's I would go without eating all day....that's how I got into the mess.  That's why I think the shakes are helping so much, the one that I am using has allot nutrition to it which my body loves (plus I am using Reslina, magnesium and probiotics),  not eating enough for me puts my body into starvation mode and it has become very effective at storing fat because it doesn't know when it will be fed again.  I would make a good bear :-)

I remember a doctor telling me when I was gaining; that its all about calories in and calories burned...I asked him if he ever had a weight problem in his life...he said no... I told him he didn't know what he was talking about and stop giving stupid advise...then I told him to follow me for a week and if he could gain weight on the amount I was eating I would be surprised...that was back in the days I would go without eating and no I didn't binge eat either. I was a single mom with her own business and barely had enough time to get it all done.  I really didn't eat much at all....as I am writing this and remembering I am amazed how I survived, it was just insanity, my body learned to turn any food into fat it was sure I was living in the ice-age and didn't know how long before I would find the next food source :-)

That's the story of how it all started, about 10 years ago though is when the weight got stupid and by then I was no longer going without food, I was then addicted to the sugar and the cravings were taking over and the weight kept on going up and down.  My metabolism was shot.

So what I have learned this week that getting sugar out of my body has been very powerful and very good for my body!! and that keeping balanced nutrition in my body is very very important and that there is lots of ways to do that.  I am enjoying the shakes at this moment and be open for new ideas because you might have to shake ;-)  things up every once in a while.

Thanks for sharing everyone!

Yeah results!  reduced by 4 lbs finally !!!   I have been bouncing with the same 3 lbs for a month now and I finally have gotten into a new bounce zone.  It's seems to go this way I get a number then bounce around with it up and down by 2 or 3  pounds then it moves to a lower number bounce around that number for a while.  So the changing it up has helped....thank you for the suggestion.   I am doing my healthy good for the body shake; one for breakfast and one for dinner and then I have been eating lunch and snacks during the day depending on the busy-ness of the day.
I think what is happening is my body is getting balance nutrition with the shakes, also reduces the stress of figuring out a healthy food choice when I am done for the day and I am really not into thinking about food fixing or eating it...that's left over from family dinners always figuring out what to feed everyone; everyday of my life for the rest of my existence...do I sound begrudging ...lol and on mothers day how human of me LOL.   Anyway I do have some food and self care issues I have to work on but the shakes are working for the moment and with this new territory called peri-menopause (it so new spell check doesn't even know what it is:) I don't know what my body might need next to keep the healthy reducing and reshaping moving forward.  But I am glad I have a wonderful blogging community to turn to for ideas and support.   19lbs down and 67 more to go!!  Yikes I shouldn't have done the math....lalalala...go to my happy place :)

Happy Mother's Day to all us amazing mothers...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taDqKWWPDAY&feature=share

Reflections of Motherhood - Enjoy!

Thanks for the feedback, I am not so frustrated today :-)  I am going to try using "Vega One" protein shake sweetened with stevia  (Canadian version of a protein shake).  It also has excellent balance nutrition properties in their formual...very good for the body.
Cal 138 / Carbs 11.4 / Fibre 6g / Sugars 1.4g  and mixing it with Almond Breeze.   I tried it before and it was yucky but they have redone they formula and the chocolate is okay.   I might order the protein shake from amazon that you are recommending.   But first give this a try see if it makes a difference.

Also made a pack with my daughter to do Jorge flat tummy routine to build some fat burning muscle.  I have been walking with her and she commented on my pace is improving.  So my goal of adding more movement is doing well...I will be hiking again this year!

Okay frustration is setting in...I have had no change since April 16  no increase no decrease.  The good part is that I am sticking to my guns and keeping away from night time eating and no sugar.   I know I it's a difficult time in my life to loose weight (peri-menopause), atleast I am not going up any more.. Which I am very grateful for....just have to keep reminding myself about that.   But really nothing!  same measurements....**sigh**... **pouty face :(  same weight..just keeps bouncing up 2 down 2.

All I can think is not enough water  and probiotics and being consistent with them...I keep forgetting them for a couple of days then back on them.  Everything with loosing weight now is so difficult.    When did it get so complicated!?

Just a quit post to say hi :-)

I am keeping up with my food journal the new book and pen are helping...I love new journals and pens I guess it reminds me of September when you get all new supplies and clothes for school.  I loved that time!

I watched Jorge's flat tummy from a post on Jorge & me...very doable. So I will add that this week  I need to build my strength back up.

Wishing you all good eating and happy blogging...I missed all of you this week I love to read all your blogs.

Yeah!  a good day

Breakfast
2pc Flax Bread w/peanut butter and tea w/ almond milk
Lunch
Salmon salad  mayo/pickle and 2 celery stalks
coffee w/soy and 2pc chocalate.
Dinner
1/2c brown rice, 1/4c peas, 2eggs (some butter & hoisin sauce)

Zevia and another piece of chocolate at work snack to keep me going....I get tired about 6pm and need a pick me up to make to the end of my shift.

I found this amazing chocolate here in BC it's by wild & sweet @ www.dcduby.com
  5pc = 10grams carbs / 4grams fibre / 0 sugars
This ones flavor is "Crunch" coffee/vanilla bean/walnut...mmmm good!
Handmade in true artisan fashion with select Origin 70% dark chocolate:  Texture artisan chocolate praline bar
no artificial sweeteners... it's all in the way they make it....amazing taste.  

Food Journal ...

Woke up today and ate first thing...I have been waking up and not eating first thing and then I don't get all my food in for the day...so today is a good day :-)   I found some bread 1 slice 2/1 so I had my old favorite tea and toast ...mmmmm good!

As soon as I get a new phone with a camera I will start putting up these products I find because being in Canada I don't always have access to the same products but I can find substitutes.

Bread Product I found is Silver Hills Mack's Flax 1 slice has 20 grams carbs and 2 sugars and 6gram fibre
Also found So Nice coffee creamer 1 TBSP(15ml)  1.5grams carbs and 0.5 grams sugars
Both products are BC products found at Save-on-Foods

Well off to eat once more before I start my shift at noon.

Food journal post
I have been food journalling for past few day;  I bought a journal that I like to carry with me and it's seem to be working - now I just have to quit having bad days...


Breakfast a handful of almonds
....then an hour later
1/2 c. brown rice with 1/4c peas and a boiled egg (butter & touch of housin sauce)
Lunch/dinner
Tuna with pickles/celery/mayo & coconut thai chicken soup and organic crackers

... today I  was scattered and short on time. So once again I didn't eat enough and I get home past 8pm so it tea and water only I don't eat past 7pm.  I wasn't feeling very well either physically or emotionally...I am just going to have a bath, go to bed and start over again tomorrow.

Hello everyone...I fell off my food journal ...so back on today.  It's been a confusing week for me emotionally and busy with furbaby sitting.  I am taking care of my oldest daughters 2 cats for the week...they're fun and they entertain each other running all night long it seems.  So sleep and routine are disturbed which cause me to  not plan my food out well and ran out of time.  Work was more stressful than usual and it got me all stressed  emotionally all this added up to me snacking in the evening once I got home at 8pm;  which I have been very good at NOT doing for a while now.   I was good and stayed away from eating too many sugars (and no white sugar or fruits) just protein and carbs but still.  I don't feel well this morning.

I find journalling so helpful;  when you right it out you can see how things effect you, then you can see triggers to avoid.  If it's just in my head and I think about it I don't see it.  

I did go for a walk with my youngest daughter last night we are getting into a routine of 2 to 3 times a week after work and I also was given a stationary bike  on Tuesday which I have started to use....both of these are helping me get my mobility back and I am hoping to start hiking this summer.

Well as I said back to it...plan my food and pack it!  drink lots of water (starting now ) and right it down and count it out.  Read my lables count my S/C no estimating :-)

Sunday! Finally :-)

Breakfast   (total s/c  3/4)
2 wasa krisp w/ peanut butter and 3/4c of cottage cheese
coffee 2/soy creamer
Lunch  (total s/c  2/3)
Kale w/roasted chicken
organic crackers 13 wheat free
Snack (total s/c  1/2)
Chiaseed pudding  w/protien powder 1/2 c.

Well this is an eye opening experience....it's my day off so since I have been posting my food journal I thought I would sit down and add the whole day; I usually just guestimate my counts on S/C;  yes I know it's bad to do that, I admitted a while ago that is my downfall I read lables yes...I just don't add...LOL.   As you can see above I haven't had dinner yet and my carb counts is already at 8 carbs.  I think I see my problem :)  I have a handle on the sugar I do pretty good at keep that down but the carbs Oh My the carbs!!   Why do I add in my head when I have menopausal brain...I can't remember where I left my phone never mind the food count all day...and no I don't have an app for that because I don't have an Iphone :)   I have been writing down quickly what I ate but I haven't been put the count beside them....I don't know why??  figured I would do it at the end of the day or something or figured I was within the range....well it doesn't work for me obviously.  I have tried gadget years ago but I don't use them.

Posting my food for all to see has helped me allot, your comments have been helpful.   Okay now I have to buckle down and really teach myself this one.  Wish me luck!  You only fail if you give up...Right! :-)

Veggies are green? really  lol  does celery in my salads count? ;-) hehehe.  I did better today I had Kale.  I love the way I do my kale.   Saturdays at work it's just me and my co-worker and we usually make food to share she loves what I do with kale so I brought that today and she pick-up a roasted chicken at the store, mmmm good.

Breakfast 
2 wasa krisp crackers w/peanut butter and coffee w/soy creamer
   I ran out of time this morning making my kale and didn't make breakfast so I improvised at work - that's what      I found in the kitchen :-)  an office full of women you can always find something in the kitchen.
Lunch 
plate full of kale with roasted chicken.
handful of fresh snow peas.
Dinner
chicken salad w/mayo/pecans/celery
tea w/creamer

24oz of water (fell off the water wagon...too busy with customers all day - Saturday's are very stressful at work; only 2 people for the busiest day of the week...go figure)

hmmm eat more??...I will try.   I'm usually not very hungry in the morning but I guess I could find something to add to breakfast maybe try that new muffin/pizza bread of Rosalie's w/fried or boiled eggs..  this set of days off then.  But for now here is my food journal:

Breakfast 
Flaxseed muffing w/pecans and butter
coffee w/soy creamer
Snack
Almonds & water
Lunch
Chicken Salad and zevia
Dinner
Imitation crab salad with seed type organic rice crackers
and I was bad today - sugar free ice cream sandwich.

food done by 5:30pm

48oz of water

Food Journaling :-)


Breakfast
Chicken Salad (celery/pecans/mayo)
10oz water
Lunch/Snack
Flaxseed muffin (chocolate with few frozen raspberries)
coffee w/almond milk and benefibre
...then off to work; when I am on the late shift 12 to 8pm my food goes a little wonky but today I managed to get my lunch in before I left which is good then I can have some almonds and coffee for a snack the eat my dinner later  at 6pm  depending how busy it is at work.
Snack
Almonds & water
Dinner
Spaghetti squash

total water today 50oz

Just quick to keep up the food journal:

Breakfast
Flaxseed muffin w/cheese and 1/2c intimation crab salad
coffee w/ almond milk
Lunch
Starbucks Tuna melt  (1/2)
water 16oz
Dinner
chicken salad w/celery and mayo
tea w/soy creamer

Home now after working till 8pm water and herbal tea

Thanks for the suggestions :-)  I will adjust accordingly.  I do find I am not as hungry as I use to be when I had sugar in my diet, and sometimes I am uninspired, but today is a good day :)

Breakfast
Flaxseed muffing with walnuts, coffee w/soya creamer (.5 sugar)
Lunch 
Spaghetti squash bird nest
Snack 
Handful of Almonds and coffee w/soya creamer
Dinner
Spaghetti squash bird nest (again I know, but it's good and I don't mind :)
Plus I made a batch so I will eat it before it goes yucky.  Next time I am going to try to freeze the batch to see how it works.

...forgot my water today :(

Evening I will probably just have water and herbal tea.  I have been pretty good with not eating past 7pm

Thanks for the comments,  don't worry I don't take them wrong way I know all of you have been there done that ..and have experienced where I am at :)  I appreciate your support.

I have to say after blogging just once and getting the support of all you wonderful women I see how important blogging is to my success.   We are really helping each other!  I was really feeling alone in my journey, I was sticking to things avoid sugar,  which I am proud of myself for doing; but the attitude was suffering and taking a dive.  Accountability, support, and a wealth of great ideas is what I get here.

Here's what I ate today...

Breakfast out with my daughter :-)
2eggs, 2link sausages, fancy red potato (small) and fried tomato, coffer w/cream

Lunch
Ice cream bar 5/2 (sweetened with Maltitol )  this also has some sucrose to it?

Dinner
Spaghetti squash egg nest..mmmm good

plus 2 Zevias and 16oz water

Oh my it's been a while since I blogged...my weight has been bouncing up and down by 3lbs very discouraging :(  I haven't given up though.  Still keeping the sugar down to below 15grams a day.  

Yesterday I started with: 

Breakfast  - Flaxseed muffin with walnuts w/butter and a coffee w/cream

Lunch - 4 wasa krisp with swiss cheeze

snack/dinner - 4 turkey sausages

drank - lots of water  (48oz)

Wasn't feeling to inspired to cook today I think I am feeling the effects of the big "M" word and since I am blogging at 1:00am because I can't sleep.  The poor sleep patterns are not helping me with weight or  with my attitude either.  Never had a problem sleeping before it's strange...figure it was best just to get up and do somethings and go and try to sleep again in a while.  But the bad attitude has been all day and most of this month.  I have things happening that challenges me but don't we all :)   Just wish I would pick myself up and get going...push through it somehow.  I read everyone's blog and you are all such strong women, I know I can do it too.